i feel like i have never felt this tired after a night shift last night,
even if i've already had more than 8 hours of sleep.

Maybe its due to the fact that i will be on for a morning shift tomorrow.

I feel sick actually.

Well, its not that hard to be falling sick these days,

Considering that;

1) The weather has been've bizarre lately.

Mostly it'll be because of

2) The crazy working conditions we're made to work in the past few days, days would be an understatement. Weeks.

Rostering and staffing have been've bad,

having you to be moving around alot, and it does'nt help when your patient acuity is high or that patients these days tend to be alot much sicker and you can barely rely on anyone especially when you're on shift during the day because majority of the staff are very junior staff whom somehow, never seem to be 1. around to help. 2. available enough to ask for help.

And i clearly do not remember being like that when i was in their shoes.

And you cant expect anything from the already mentally and physically drained in-charge who already has cases to herself and a few more other very junior staff to oversee.

Like i've told a few people, working in ccu, is starting to get depressing,

You seldom get to be on shift with "your" kind of people and you're already busy to your wits and then you're alone. Now, that SUCKS.

I dont know how to explain it all but it just feels just like that.

And its not like luck has been've by my side lately, having been've attracting very busy shifts lately.

I cannot recall when was the last time i've had a peaceful night shift.

but ironically, i very much prefer the night shifts because of the more familiar faces and they're the ones you know you can count on to pull through together even if its just 4 pathetic staff nurses tending to a full intensive care unit.

4 nurses to 12 patients does'nt look like its fit enough to be called "intensive care nursing" sometimes.

It never used to be this bad when i first started out!

Nonetheless, i still love what i do and where i'm at.

but i'm extremely tired right now,

Hopefully, everything gets back in place and someone would get back to a more sane state of mind about the way things should be planned and managed.

Here are the some of the people that still keep me sane these days.

Oh have i mentioned, i'm officially a twilight fan!

I read both twilight and new moon within 2 days each! I'm trying to see where i can get eclipse and breaking dawn from. :(

till then,

cheerios!