its my off day, and a well deserved one indeed because yesterday,

was officially my busiest day in my 3 months in CCU.

I took a freshly intubated patient, post Angiogram.

And when he got back, he was basically bleeding from almost every orifice.

Anyway, i'm not complaining, but frankly i'm glad the in-charge gave me the case.

Because, it made me fall in love with critical care once again.

And, it made me see the beauty in people.

Despite having their own patients, my colleagues were always there, to offer their assistance.

And i was extremely touched, this is the best part of being in an ICU, its always teamwork.

Anyway, work aside, i've been thinking the whole morning.

about the future, about us.

I know undeniably, you're the person i'd want to spend my life with, and i know, right now, its likewise for you.

But what happens when i start freaking out about the whole commitment thing and its worth?

What happens when someone strays?

Call me selfish but i dont want to go through a series of feeling down and out.

Because what happens, if years later, you decide to change your mind?

I guess its just me and my paranoid self acting up again.

I get these tendencies where i think of the worst case scenarios in any aspect of my life and it gets me thinking and i start worrying.

But whatever it is, i have faith in you, i have faith in us.

It's almost been've 2 years.

And needless to say, i wish for it to take on many more years.

Its going to be challenging, but i'll take it on.