Monday, December 24
its 4Am on Christmas Eve.
Am sooooooo NOT looking forward to people coming over later in the evening.
If only YOU were free to come over for xmas eve. :(
Anyhoos. I dont know if the stupid bbq pits in my area are available..if not, no drinking sessions or party for you guys..urrghh.
I PRAY they have at least a pit left when i go over to book em later in the morning.
I 'm a little sleepy but dont exactly wanna sleep.
You know how sometimes in life you feel jaded, after you've seen things happening over and over again?
Today, I felt the exact same spiritless me, i felt 1 year and a half ago, I was afraid, seeing so many failed relationships, and whatever my the XY chromosome being in my house is doing to his counterpart, just makes me wonder, why in the fcuking world do people even bother falling in love and taking the risk and sometimes end up getting hurt and be forced to go through the whole breakup package at the end of it all and what you get is a bucket load of tears(for me) and you feel like shit for days and nights until you finally pick up the fucking pieces to get your senses together and after a while, a damn long while..YOU MOVE ON! and then it all happens again. See, now do you believe when i tell you i'm jaded ? Dont get me wrong. I love theinesh, In fact everyone knows i do, with all my heart, strength and soul. We have our ups and downs, a whole load of memories i would'nt trade for anything else. But, i dont know why, things i've seen in my life tend to cause me to worry about my OWN relationship and i start wondering if its gonna be worth it because obviously no one wants to see something u've put into, go down the drain, right? So i am afraid, after all i've seen, how your closest friend gets dumped in the most f-ed up way u can possibly imagine and a whole lot more of depressing situations any normal human being would'nt want to find themselves in.
And its just unfair to him that i have to feel this way.
And dearest, i'm sorry that i cant help it that sometimes i get all paranoid.
Whatever it is, I love you a whole lot. I thank you for taking the time to listen to me even though u were really sleepy. It sure did help me out alot. I thank you also for all the nonsense sometimes you had to put up with.And a whole pack of happy times you never fail to bring me.
if you're reading this, just know i'm not going to give up, no matter what.
Above all, i thank you for loving me and for being someone i can always lean on.(literally as well.) haha.
So to all those that matter and all reading this,
to all my friends, family, whoever.
MERRY CHRISTMAS.
and my christmas quote for the year.
"Love one another as i have loved you"
Pretty classic i know, but seriously, christmas IS about Love. I do not need to explain thoroughly what happened on christmas day.
But to those idiots who celebrate christmas without even a single clue as to why its celebrated.
Please, take down your xmas trees and dont even bother roasting the turkeys or beefs. Its POINTLESS. I may not be a staunch catholic but hey,frankly christmas IS overrated. Which reminds me, i wonder if i shld go for midnight service tomorrow. Lol. GOODNIGHT EVERYONE.
impulsively and honestly,
yours truly
4:57 AM
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