Tuesday, August 1
its been a few weeks since i've last updated.
so here goes, excuse me if i happen to be ranting.
i know its unfair,
but i want all,
its all or nothing..
somehow, you realize that, trying brings you no where
people become stubborn,
they'd turn your words around,
you turned my words around
and suddenly, i feel like i'm all to blame.
all of a sudden, i'm the bad one here,
i'm the spoiler,
and you were always trying, and always right.
maybe that's why they always say that its called a breakup,
coz its already BROKEN.
it hurts so much, to hear you say all that,
how could you ?
why're you making it seem like i'm the unreasonable one now ?
why now ?
i thought you said you'd change.
but where's the change?
you said you'd treat me right
you said you'd never let me down
you said you'd make us worth it.
but words are only words.
right ?
talking merely aggitates me.
sometimes i just hold the phone away from me
allowing you to say all you want,
you try to put the blame on me,
that i'm petty,
that i did'nt like us the way we were before.
that i'm the one that broke your heart with the breakup.
must i remind you,
that mine was already broken in the midst of our relationship
i would'nt deny that you did'nt make me smile.
but weigh it with the times i was unhappy.
i'm not saying i was perfect,
but ultimately, i'm just protecting my own heart.
that's all i want to do, from now onwards.
i dont want to hurt anymore.
i dont want to have to cry in silence and have you slam the phone down on me.
i dont want to cry, and have you scold me for crying.
i dont want to cry anymore.
its the least i can do, to remind myself..
that moving on is essential,
i deserve to be happy, to smile.
right ?
impulsively and honestly,
yours truly
10:30 PM
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