Thursday, August 24
and so what now ?
what do i do now ?
someone is right,
its unfair,
its unfair.
think about it.
maybe that is why you're this way.
oh well..
there's much more to life than this..
i know, this may seem repetitive for a few of you
but,
i felt the most horriblest feeling ever.
i felt selfish, an utter disgrace to the nursing profession
and i'm a disappointment to myself.
passed by an road accident, there was an semi-conscious casualty
and i hesistated on getting off the bus to help
i know, i would'nt be able to do much
but i just felt that, being there, was the least i could do.
after that, for the rest of the bus ride home,
i could'nt wait to get home,
because every sideroad i had seen, reminded me of how that casualty looked.
i still can remember, even till this very moment.
its daunting.
i am falling ill..
my throat hurts..
and i cant breathe properly.
i feel like i'm having a laryngel edema
dammit.
i need leukotriene modifiers. or anti-histamines. LOL
you said,
someone will one day, learn to appreciate me
you said
one day, someone will love me for who i really am.
you said,
one day i will deserve someone better
you said,
one day i will have someone who would care for me, with all his heart
exactly 2 months.
my time limit.
after that, it is'nt worth anything
anymore.and i'll say, 6 months, is probably long enough
just 2 more months, clare
hang in there.
i'm plugged into emo songs.
wishing i could cry.
but no, i'm too strong now. not now.
i'm now, addicted to this song. just a part of this. nothing significant. just strikes me everytime i listen to it. like lightning.
EVERYTIME I KISS I FEEL YOUR LIPS AND
EVERYTIME I CRY I SEE YOUR SMILE AND
EVERYTIME I CLOSE MY EYES I REALISE THAT
EVERYTIME I HOLD YOUR HAND IN MINE
THE SWEETEST THING MY HEART COULD EVER FIND
AND I HAVE NEVER FELT THIS WAY
papers are overr..
and i dont know what to do either.
impulsively and honestly,
yours truly
1:37 AM
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